Sydney, You Should Get A Boob Job.
When I was asked to write a piece for the “Body Image Series,” I felt honoured to be included in such a meaningful project. But very soon after I started thinking about what I wanted to share, doubt and fear kicked in.
Why would anyone want to read my opinion on body image issues? Which girls would want advice from someone who looks like me? I worried that I would be written off by the readers because I am thin. I was concerned about you thinking, “How can a slender girl have body image issues? How can she relate to those of us who are battling to love the way we look and more importantly struggling to love ourselves? “
I think my fears were centred on the cruel and futile habit of body shaming. Excuse me for generalising, but us women are expert body shamers, towards others AND ourselves. We are able to find something wrong with almost anybody.
I am completely guilty of this. I have criticized others unnecessarily and unfairly. I have looked at myself in the mirror, nit picking at my naked body, tearing myself to shreds.
As I said before, I am thin. I have never had weight fluctuation concerns or an eating disorder. Again, the voice in my head is telling me that the readers are probably saying that I am a lucky bitch and I should just sit right down and keep my opinion to myself. But I won’t do that, instead I am going to share my story.
If you asked me who my #WomanCrushWednesday is, my answer is usually Penelope Cruz or Salma Hayek. I love a brunette with a sexy, voluptuous figure and I have always found that curves, breasts and a booty are what define a woman and what men find attractive. I admired women who were everything I was not. In my mind, I would never be desirable or a ‘real’ woman because I am flat-chested and butt-less
When puberty made its grand entrance into the lives of my friends and I, it arrived with a bang. All of a sudden we had period cramps and pimples but most noticeably, boobs. It became very apparent to me that just about all of my friends no longer needed training bras. Some of them even needed new jeans that had space for their growing assets.
As a no cup, I have heard all the jokes. I have been teased about having ‘bee stings’ or ‘mosquito bites.’ I have been told that I have the body of a twelve-year-old boy. I have been made to feel that my body would never appeal to the opposite sex. I was told I needed to wear bras and bikinis with serious padding in them to make it look like I had something going on there. (Hilarious, especially when you have nothing to even put inside the smallest Wonderbra.) I have been told to get a boob job. People have nicknamed me “extended legs” because my bottom, like my chest, is almost as flat as a surfboard.
For years, I tried finding bras that would give me deceptive cleavage. I dreaded bikini shopping and pool parties with my well-endowed friends. The idea of having to be topless or naked in front of a guy terrified me; the possibility of repulsion and rejection was all too real. I felt robbed of my womanhood and jealous of my friends who had a little something something.
During my journey of writing this piece, wrestling to find the right words to say, I came across a very apt meme that says, “Just because you don’t look like somebody you think is attractive, doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive. Flowers are pretty but so are Christmas decorations and they look nothing alike.”
I think that is part of the reason I am so comfortable with my body right now. I do not have to change or ‘improve’ anything about my body in order to impress other women or to attract a man. If a guy decides that I am not sexually desirable because I am flat chested, then he quite frankly does not deserve any part of me or the privilege of being intimate with me. If girls are going to laugh at me and recommend I visit a plastic surgeon, I do not want that kind of friend. No one has the right to body shame me.
My tiny breasts and lack of derrière are not what make me a woman. It’s my soul, my true essence, not my body, that defines my womanhood. Women truly are diverse and mystical beings. We should be celebrating each other in our glorious diversity, because tearing one another down and suggesting that there is room for improvement is so not constructive. Remember, there is always another woman out there wishing she had your hair, eyes, legs, curves and so on.
At this point in my life, I have no interest in ‘enhancing’ my breasts or getting a Brazilian butt job. My only advice to those of you who want to get some work done, is to do it for YOURSELF. Do NOT let any guy tell you that if you go up a few cups sizes, you’ll be sexier. Do NOT let others convince you that if you had a smaller nose, your face would be so much prettier. (I have been told many times that I have a “Jew” nose which is so offensive on so many levels and another insecurity I have had to try and abandon.)
The change has to ALWAYS be for you and you alone, because trust me someone else will always find something else to comment on, you will never be “perfect.” (What is that anyway??) If your self-image and worth is based on the opinion of others, you will never be satisfied. And remember, changing the way you look is not an instant fix to transforming how you feel on the inside. My acceptance of my ‘flaws’ did not come about because I changed physically, I haven’t; it came about because I shifted my mind set and try to make a habit of practising self-love. It doesn’t always work, there are still days I sigh at myself in the mirror. However, I am more comfortable in my skin than I have ever been.
At 24 years old I can happily say I have no breasts and I am okay with that. I have even added Kate Hudson to my #WCW. She rocks the flat-chested vibes and so do I!
P.S- Remember that YOU are a goddess!
(If you would like to follow Sydney on Instagram here is the link to her page https://www.instagram.com/sydneyjeanking/ )