“I finally realized that being grateful to my body was key to giving more love to myself”- Oprah Winfrey.
I have been between 41kg – 43kg for about 6 years now but just to share my story I was around 55-58kgs in High school. I was chubby, curvy and to most of those who exchanged eye contacts with me crowned me with beautiful names, that I was pretty, sexy, blessed, hot, favored and all that they thought I was but not because I have/had a dolled up face but it’s because of the booty I had.
Wait! Let me tell you a story. I’m an African lady, and as you know ‘Curvy women’ are such a deal in Africa (at least to most of them). One friend once told me ‘African men don’t do bones’ and there is no ‘skinny is sexy’ in Africa. They want flesh, they need meat so save that booty and work it out girl. As I was branded with beautiful names favoring my blessed big booty the idea also stuck in me and manipulated my mind. I also started believing my beauty relies on my big shape. With my flat tummy, wide hips & big booty I felt proud walking around school pavements, walking across the streets and having other people wishing to have what I had. I was proud, I felt beautiful.
‘Like an ice under the Sun! Everything melted. I was eating, I was happy, I had my family and friends but I lost weight. The most precious thing in my (My booty) “disappeared”.
Hahaaa, can I just laugh for a second?
You all know a flat dry wood right? I was just that. I was at my final year of High School after that little mess happened, and It was now to go back home. That moment started eating me, was I still beautiful? Will I be loved like before? How will my clothes look on me? What will my friends think? My doubts were true, I was judged and it pained. I was pointed fingers at especially with my people…my close people. They said it to my face “Catherine you look ugly…you are skinny…you look old….you don’t look good’ and lots of negative comments close to that. It was either I had to meet friends or relatives I had to get ready for such negative comments from them. Everything pained until one day somebody asked ‘Did Catherine abort’, she can’t lose so much weight in a little time?
That was time I picked myself and said ‘Enough is enough” and I am beautiful at any size. It is never my responsibility to make a person love me and pick me as their friend. My responsibility is to love myself, accept myself, enjoy myself and inspire others to become who they want to become. Since then it has been the moment of joy and happiness from my inner space. I so much love the skinny me and I loved the chubby me. So it doesn’t matter how I become, I love me first. And that’s all matters.
With Lots of Love Your Way.
(To follow Olivia please visit her website : http://www.oliviazjournal.com/ and her Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/oliviaz_journal/)