LULU

 

Hello

My name is Lulu and I love my body.

I’m not talking about that “ride or die” type of love. I mean real deal Corinthians 13 type of love.

The sad thing is that it took me 23 years and moving to a new city to find this type of body love.

It seems pretty obvious but trust me, most girl still haven’t learned that
you can’t love something that is not yours. My body never belonged to me.

Like most girls it first belonged to my mother who dressed me up as her mini me or little princes doll depending on how she felt. Then it was the friends that I had to prove to that I’m cute or cool to hang out with them. Then the boyfriends; who planted the seeds to a forest of insecurities. Then the media and most recently the bloggers who can’t seem to decide if they want me to be #ThighGapThin or #NickiMinajThick.

Don’t get me wrong I didn’t hate my body, at least not in any obvious way. At  best I was infatuated with it. Then I moved to Cape Town. I looked up and there was no one that my body had to be respectful of or sexy for.

I don’t have a TV so I wasn’t bombarded with twisted idea of what a beautiful woman should be either. It was just me, as I am… without the noise.

That when I started to really look at my body. To touch it, feel it and
explore it. To listen to my body. That’s when I fell in love with this plum,
short squishy  thing that I call my body.

I’m just over a meter tall, I weigh 65kg, I have more thigh than ass, a great pair of breast that are fast heading south and I have my daddy’s nose. These are the facts I use to use to struggle with, I use to hate them yet none of them have really changed much since I was sixteen. The only difference now is that I really love my body.

As you know love changes you. It changes the way you think, what you do and  how you say things. Since loving my body, I’ve finally committed to the gym. I complete my hiking trails. I ONLY eat good food! and I go outside more often even if it is just to smile at the sun. My body likes these things. It carries and protects me through a lot more when I do these things. It’s that Corinthians type of love.

But my favourite thing about loving my body is freedom. I don’t walk around like this body was borrowed to me with a set of rules and expectations to adhere to. I can take it anywhere, dress it anyhow and do with it as I please. because this here body belongs to Sibongile Lucretia thokozile Machika.

 

 

lulu

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